Reason Why My Job Is Slowly Turning Me Into A Crazy Old Man # 1,342

We had an issue with a customer where an unusual problem occurred. Some form of output did not output correctly and therefore needed customer data was missing. No one readily knew how to resolve it but apparently there is a mythical tool that rewrites the output. No one knows the name of the tool or where to find it, but there is a legend about the tool. The legend goes as such:

Should you require the tool, go to The Rainbow Tree and knock on it five times. When The Gnome appears, he will ask you his name. Tell him his name on the first try and he will tell you where to find the tool. Tell him wrong and he will rape you for every incorrect guess. This may seem like a pleasurable experience at first consideration, but I assure you, The Gnome’s penis is enormous and unforgiving.

Therefore, it is imperative to determine the name of The Rainbow Tree Gnome before going to The Rainbow Tree, lest your asshole be damned. In order to find the name of The Rainbow Tree Gnome, you must seek out The Old One. The Old One is a child who does not age and has no gender. The Old One knows the name of The Rainbow Tree Gnome. They played a game of poker once together and on that fateful day The Gnome bet the knowledge of his name. It wasn’t an exciting competition like you see in the movies. The Old One beat The Gnome with a pair of threes against The Gnome’s Jack of Dingle-berries high card.

Ah yes, I see from your expression that you are curious about the suit of cards in this magical fairy land I just made up and can’t believe you are still reading about. Well, I will tell you the tale after I have had a long sleep. You see the nurse just brought out the meds and the little green ones make me quite sleepish. Feel free to stand here and creepily watch me doze or linger in the lobby like a homeless person if you pleazzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ….

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