Before we dig in, let me just talk about my bad luck with Miami since I have been living four hours away in Tampa. It seems most famous people don’t do shows in Florida. The ones who do typically go to Miami. Understandable, given it’s like the New York of the south. However, for some reason every single time I try to catch one of these shows, something happens to make me miss half or all of the show with often little to no chance of refunding the cost of the tickets.
The first show was Kevin Hart’s What Now. We didn’t leave at a reasonable time and when we got there the line to parking was so long that it took an hour for them to direct us to the plaza next to the venue where there was still parking left. I barely got there in time to hear Kevin Hart’s pocket pussy bit.
Then there was Jay Z and Justin Timberlake, a once in a lifetime show. A friend was moving in Gainesville the very same day. The plan was to help her move and make it to the show. However the moving (like every move ever) ran late as fuck and she had no one else to assist. By the time we were done, the amount of show that we would have seen wasn’t worth the long ass drive from Gainesville to Miami.
Then there was Louis CK. His only show anywhere near me for only like $35 per ticket. My new girlfriend (Bae) working a brand new job with erratic hours wouldn’t be able to get the day off to make the show and I couldn’t justify going without her so I missed one of the best comedians of our time in his comedic prime only a year before he got Me Too’d.
And then there is the latest debacle which sets the scene for our tale. Drake, after coming off record breaking sales from his newest album, Scorpion, was doing what might be the show of the year with his three Migos in Miami. This time I wasn’t going to fuck it up. No other plans? Check. Booked a hotel for the weekend. Check. Booked a car to drive down the day before the show with plans to leave the day after the show. Check. Bae had a better job and could actually get the Friday off so we could make the drive. Check.
Everything was solid. Solid like a Chevy truck. Metal Gear Solid. We drove in Friday evening and got a glimpse of the stadium. Bae couldn’t contain her excitement. She was in Miami, where she had never been before, to see her favorite artist with the love of her life. She was in love with the city immediately upon seeing the skyline. And we were staying right in the heart of downtown, just a brisk walk from the stadium.
Fast forward to the next day. We had all day to hang out in Miami until the show. We went to Bubba Gump Shrimp, checked out a local museum, and did some shopping. Eventually we end up at the Guess store. I see a jacket that is calling my name. I try it on. It looks great on me..But it costs $150. I don’t spend that kind of money on clothes. I take it off and put it back on the rack. Bae, however, decides that she wants me to have that jacket. This for me is a predicament because as much as I am unwilling to spend that on myself, I am even more unwilling to allow her to do it. Her financial situation has always been delicate for as long as I have known her, so I have always been very financially protective of her. Let her tell it though (because eventually she will read this), I was just trying to control her with money. We’ll get to all of that in a bit.
This jacket. This fucking jacket. This dope ass sexy ass piece of shit ass ruined my relationship ass jacket. That pic is current. I still have it. Bae is gone though. She left. I wanted her to leave. And the beginning of the end started with the purchasing of this jacket.
So she insisted on the purchase. Later that evening, we got lit on Apple Crown in the hotel room and started the short walk to the stadium for the Drake show. Along the way, we encountered a man selling drawings on the street. We were in such good spirits off good spirits that we went ahead and entertained him trying to sell us literal Xerox copies of drawings that all clearly had different signatures. This nigga didn’t draw any of these epics. In my drunkenness I wasn’t savvy enough to realize that or even give a fuck. I didn’t intend to purchase anything anyhow. But then he told us that the Drake show was canceled. We were like “wtf”..
Thanks to modern technology, we were able to verify his information. Being so drunk, I was convinced that he really helped us out so I proceeded to buy two of his pictures. One was of Barack Obama, the GOAT POTUS, and I think the other was of Prince, my secret daddy. Fortunately the show was rescheduled.. For two months later.. On a fucking Wednesday. A Wednesday that came and went. By the time we came up on that Wednesday, our communication had broken down completely and our relationship was in pieces. We didn’t go to the show. I sold the tickets. The curse of shows in Miami rearing its head again.. But this time with a much greater side effect.. The demise of my 3rd serious relationship.
So let’s get back to the jacket. I say the jacket killed our relationship but of course that’s not true. We had issues that we were unable to overcome together. But the jacket definitely triggered everything that lead to the end.
Some time later, bae found out that I gave a female friend a lot of money to pay her rent. By find out I mean, my original intention was to not tell her. Yeah I know.. I fucked up. I had my reasons. Bae.. or Ex-Bae now.. She has always been notorious for jealousy in our 3 year relationship span. Furthermore, our fights are always a hurricane. It is rare for one of our fights to now end with the police being called or one of us leaving home for a week. So in order to prevent triggering a fight that we may not be able to recover from, I opted not to share this information. Well.. Until I did share it.
A week after I gave that friend the money, Ex-Bae and I were having a conversation about this friend and she asked me if I had ever given her money.
Ex-Bae: “How much?”
Me: “A lot”
So ultimately the fight I was trying to avoid still happened multiplied by the fact that I fully intended to keep this from her. I don’t know how to lie. I thought it was a virtue, but it fucks me more often than not. As the fight escalated, eventually Ex-Bae decided that I didn’t deserve the Guess jacket that she bought me in Miami. That crossed a very deep line for me. At that point I considered the jacket my property, gift or not, and taking something of mine from me because you are upset triggers me. My rebuttal.. If we are taking things back, if I take what I have given back, you would have nothing left. That’s not totally true. But given that I was paying all of the rent and all of the shareable bills, she would owe quite a bit if I decided to take back paying her half of everything. It was a dick thing to say. Like I said, I was triggered.
Anyway, I did more than just say that to her. I tweeted about it. Not only did I tweet about it, I tweeted it as if it were a bar in a diss song. I write mad diss bars about my girl on twitter when I get upset. Usually I keep it in check, but the fight got so bad, potentially relationship ending, and I was so upset that I couldn’t help myself. However, we made it through the fight.. But that tweet remained on my twitter.
Fast forward to a month and a half later. Ex-Bae out of the blue sends me and instant message while I am at work about twitter. She asks how come I never respond to her on there. Twitter doesn’t give me notifications from people I don’t follow. I unfollowed her on twitter some time ago due to past problems we have had with each other due to social media.. Mainly that we both talk shit about each other on there when we get upset. I realized she still did when I went and took a look at hers for the first time in probably a year’s time.
Seeing that was triggering. Then she proceeded to tell me that my bankrupt tweet really hurt her feelings. I immediately got upset because it felt like she was trying to bring back an old fight. Let her tell it, she was just expressing her feelings and looking for understanding. It wasn’t a good time for me to give understanding. Even a mention of twitter from her is triggering because we have fought about it in one way or another for our entire relationship. I just wanted to avoid it so I didn’t interact with her on twitter, and more often than not, even avoided mentioning her. But all the while she was still following my posts and felt the need to address me about it. And this interaction spiraled into our usual relationship ending fight.
Over the next two weeks we would say terrible things to and about each other, I would pack my things and move to a friend’s house, we would go back to the thing we don’t like the most about the other person and hold on to the need for that to change, and eventually just hate each other. Eventually I decided that no matter what we were going to do with the relationship, I couldn’t live with her anymore. Living with her during conflict is always the worst, and either leads to me having to call the police on her or leaving. I was tired of it. I opted to stop by ending the living situation. And here we are. Blocked on social media.. Miles apart.. And more or less completely out of contact.. Except I know she will read this eventually. She won’t be able to help herself.. Just like I can’t help but to write it. And she will hate me for it. Because my truth always sounds to her like an insult to her. Because she never understands where I’m coming from.
Ultimately all I want is good things for her. Last time we spoke she made it clear she prefers to hate me. That’s fine. If there was anything I could do about her feelings, things wouldn’t have gone this route anyhow. It is what it is..