Did Quincy Jones Fuck Ivanka Trump?


Quincy Jones recently gave an interview to Vulture. It’s an interesting read to say the least. He dropped bombs on everyone, from Bono, to Michael Jackson, to Ivanka Trump. By bombs, I mean he said some shit that some of us weren’t expecting to hear. I got into a long and stupid debate regarding the Ivanka Trump bit so that’s what I am going to focus on here.

Here is what he said about Ivanka:

QJ: I used to date Ivanka, you know.

Vulture: Wait, really?

QJ: Yes, sir. Twelve years ago. Tommy Hilfiger, who was working with my daughter Kidada said, “Ivanka wants to have dinner with you.” I said, “No problem. She’s a fine motherfucker.” She had the most beautiful legs I ever saw in my life. Wrong father, though.

Quincy Jones

Musical genius, half-billionaire, playboy, philanthropist

At face value, I wouldn’t think much of this. Honestly I could care less. He’s a legend and he probably could get a date with Ivanka regardless of the fact that she was literally one third his age. However when people decide “he fucked Ivanka”, I begin to take issue with the whole thing.

Let’s look at the facts.

A1GWs7dmHSLIvanka Trump is gorgeous, young, and the daughter of a billionaire (who happens to be President of the United States and also the back of his head looks like cat butt). Quincy Jones was 72 at the time and a music legend. According to Quincy himself, she stated that she wanted to have dinner with him on a single occasion. That’s all there is in the realm of facts.

Here’s where you have to make your own decisions. Why would a hot young heiress date a 72 year old man, let alone have sex with him? So I automatically throw the implied “Quincy fucked Ivanka” out of the window. Is that sexism to make that implication of someone saying they “dated”? Probably. Because it automatically paints Quincy in a favorable light as an old man who managed to have sex with a PYT with her own money. Depending on your perception of women, it paints Ivanka unfavorably. So of course Trump haters love that narrative.

I don’t even believe Quincy Jones “dated” Ivanka Trump. My common sense won’t let me believe the ramblings of an old black man. I know old black men, legendary or not. I know the kinds of stories they tell. They paint themselves as the heroes of their stories. I look forward to my own embellishments marinated in I-don’t-give-a-fuckery.

I am not calling Quincy Jones a liar, though if you read the interview, the man certainly has a big ego. I think Quincy decided to perceive his dinner with Ivanka as a date and eventually believed it himself after 12 years. With that, stating that they “dated” is technically not a lie. That’s Quincy’s truth. Only Ivanka Trump can offer up an alternative truth, and then we would have to decide who we want to believe.


This time, I am on the side of feminism. I am not a fan of Trump, but I choose to give his family, especially the women, the benefit of the doubt (free Melania). Men tell stories about women all the time and women cannot always defend themselves, especially if the public has already decided that the story is fact based on their own personal biases and favoritism of the parties involved along with their perception of women in general.

oj-simpsonIn fact, it’s very ironic that the #MeToo movement essentially contains the same fuel. Stories about men (accusations of rape and sexual misconduct) that essentially allow no defense. The public decides based on the accusation. Very similar to the OJ verdict when a black man managed to beat the system seemingly against all odds and facts. Sometimes unfairness turns around and destroys the original beneficiaries. Maybe that’s how life balances itself out. Not by balance, but by imbalance against different parties at different times.




My Name As A Verb

If you have been following this blog long, you are familiar with the two dudes I talk to the most. One of them is named Ed and the other is named Chris. The three of us make up 75% of what I call the Z-Team. Sometimes we have hilarious exchanges through instant message that I feel compelled to share here or on Tumblr. This isn’t another one of those though. This right here is payback.

My real name is Jeremy. Sup.. Some mornings I have something random to say. Sometimes I post it as a facebook status. However if it’s more of a rant and requires some back and forth, I will say it to Chris or Ed. Ed has effectively defined the act of going into these rants as Jeremying.


Rem: “What would you do if someone left a baby xenomorph on your doorstep?”
Ed: “It is way too early for you to Jeremy right now”

Jeremy (v) – to inquire or speak passionately about something random, sometimes with a specific intention, expectation, or simply for analytical purposes or personal entertainment.

Now. Let’s talk about Chrising. What is Chrising you ask? Well first let me tell you the origin of this term.

deadpool-2-e1502126688453 1512018847_thanos-avengers-infinity-war

I recently learned that Josh Brolin is playing Cable in the upcoming Deadpool movie. I found this a bit odd because I also became aware that Josh Brolin is doing the voice of Thanos (who also strangely looks way too much like Bruce Willis) in the upcoming Avengers movie. So what this means is that Josh Brolin is playing two characters in parallel universes, the Marvel Cinematic Universe with Captain America, Thor, Iron Man, Hulk, Black Widow, Hawkeye etc. and whatever the fuck Fox is calling their Marvel universe with the X-Men, Wolverine, Charles Xavier, Deadpool, etc. Things like this always tickle my nipples a bit because I wonder how they would explain this kind of thing if they had to. Say tomorrow Disney bought Fox and decided to merge these two universes somehow. How would the creators explain why Thanos has the exact same voice as Cable? Who gives a shit, right? Technically that’s a form of Jeremying right there, but I digress. Not fully digress though because I also recently noticed with the new Avengers trailer that Laurence Fishburne will have a role, meaning he plays a character in both the MCU and DC’s cinematic universe (he was in Man of Steel). So yeah there’s more fun shit that you didn’t give a fuck about that you now get to agonize over.. Oh that’s just me? Okay then..

Anyway, my friends are nerds. Much bigger nerds than myself, so when things like this happen, I go to them for further understanding and discussion. So I went to Chris and asked him about Josh Brolin “playing two different Marvel villains at the same time”. Instead of answering my question, he pounced on me calling Cable a villain. I don’t know shit about Cable. I’ve never been into comic books. So this was my reaction:


Really nigga?

That is when Chris took this opportunity to Chris.

Chris (v) – to antagonize something someone says and then essentially become overly antagonistic when it doesn’t go over well. Irritation is taken as a victory and the exchange is prolonged until you get the last word.

Even after I conceded that Cable was not a villain, he decided that we should verbally go back and forth about this until he got the final word. Chrising is about winning. Eventually I just stopped talking because my goal was to inquire about Josh Brolin but he decided to take this opportunity to battle me once he sensed my irritation at sidestepping my question.


So he won. But I get the last laugh because now I have effectively exposed his antagonistic nature and turned it into a word. He may have declared a win by getting the last word in the battle but I have gotten the last word in the war. And that word is Chris.


*laughs Louise-ily*

Also, he hates when I write about him so he gon’ be mad af when he reads this 😈

All Ideas, No Execution

The curse of my life. The curse of most individuals I assume. We all have had a moment of genius that we figure, if I put this into action, I could be rich or famous, or at least validated.. Then we let that shit go and just go to McDonald’s or some shit.

I had an idea on the way to work this morning. Before I reveal the idea, I have to talk about the depressing inspiration for it. Also, I am noting that I shouldn’t even share this idea because anyone could just find it and bring it to life. But my introspective nature tells me that is better than the idea just sitting and rotting in my brain so fuck it.

This morning I was obsessively scrolling my facebook feed and I came across a VICE article with the caption “Life as we know it will end in 50 years”. A click-bait af caption I know, but I’m in my 30s so I was a bit alarmed at the idea of spending my 80s in an apocalypse. Can’t imagine my knees will handle it well. The gist of the article was asking expert science and military minds what they thought of our future prospects based on our current priorities and tribulations. One general said nuclear war was unlikely due to the balance of power, but that doesn’t mean it’s any less grim. A scientist said in 50 years the power will go out, the populations of the world will scramble for whatever resources contribute to a comfortable life under the circumstances, and that the rich would probably be the only ones that would be okay while the rest of us starved and killed each other off. That’s 2068 in a nutshell. Yet another thing to fuel my paranoia regarding reproduction.

Anywho, this post is not about the apocalypse. It’s about yet another distraction from the inevitable, ironically. I love board games. I taught all of my friends how to play Settler’s of Catan and I dream of one day developing my own board game. So this morning I thought it would be awesome to play a board game that plays in two phases. The first phase feels like normal life, except everyone playing knows that the game will change drastically at some point and transition to phase two. So phase one is all about maintaining some form of normality while also preparing for phase two and ultimately trying to find out exactly what phase two has to offer in some kind of Clue-like progression.

What is phase two, you ask? Oh you didn’t ask? Well fuck you, Imma tell you anyway. Phase two is The End of the Fucking World, to rip off an awesome title to some Netflix original. What caused it? Well that is part of the mystery and the goal of the first phase. Determine the best way to prepare for whatever phase two might be. Or perhaps, use all of your resources in order to get more clues into what might happen so that you can have more focused preparations. And here is the best part. When you transition between phase one and phase two, everything is removed from the board and the board is flipped from the Life As We Know It board upside down (shoutout to Stranger Things) to an End of the Fucking World game board. Reversible shit is my shit.. *takes a bow* Please, sit down. Hold your applause. Yes I know, it is genius. I am quite the stable genius.

Ok fine. I’m no genius. A genius would be smart enough not to share such a relevant and interesting idea (though let’s be honest, creating any art about the apocalypse is beating a zombie horse at this point), and furthermore, would develop a plan of execution, rather than just leave it at a fleeting passion for a concept. Unfortunately I know myself. I know that even if I took the time to work out some logistics and rules, eventually I would tire of the idea and lose confidence and creativity and want to move on to something else. That’s when developing an idea becomes work, and studies have said that work is not fun. So there it is. Somebody out there make that shit and get rich off it so that I can be mad. Then I will use my anger to see my next idea to fruition. Or.. I will use it to find you and fuck you up for stealing my idea. Now there’s an idea..

Rem & Ed One 2018

Remy: Why is XBox One called XBox One?

Remy: 360 is a higher number than One

Remy: Why are they jumping back in time in numbers?

Remy: What’s the next one gonna be called? Xbox Negative?

Remy: Actually no the latest one is just algebra.. Xbox 1x

Remy: Which technically could be negative anything. So instead of going further down in actual numbers they just went deeper into number obscurity. 1x could be anything. Solve for X

Remy: The next XBox will be called XBox String Theory

Remy: XBox Quantum Physics

Remy: XBox Flat Earth

Ed: you feel good about that rant?

Remy: I feel like it should have gone longer

Remy: Maybe they’ll go the other way and call the next XBox Xbox universe

Remy: XBox Galaxy

Remy: Or XBox Atom. The possibilities are endless

Remy: And stupid

Remy: If I worked at Microsoft I would fire the fuck out of the guy who came up with XBox One

Remy: Even if it was Bill Gates himself

Remy: “Get the fuck outta here Bill. You’re dumb now”

Remy: Rants are hard

Ed: rants are not hard if you let them come naturally, this seems a little forced to me

Remy: The whole thing?

Remy: Dont you be rating my rant you motherfucker

Remy: Your existence seems a little forced to me

Remy: Yeah that’s right. U insult my rant, I insult your existence

Ed: hey, man, i’m just saying in 10 years i’ve known you have a lot better rants, this just seems like it’s not your best

Ed: you gotta be able to take some constructive criticism

Remy: Yo life is constructive criticism. Boom! Roasted!