What Do Women Want?

Disclaimer: This entry is not an attempt at telling men how to get into a woman’s head or a woman’s pants.. If that’s what you’re looking for, you’ve come to the wrong place my friend. Neither is my area of expertise. I just try stuff until something works like most men.

This question truly gets the hamster wheel going sometimes. I think the answer is: “everything they can get their pretty little well manicured hands on”. Did that sound sexist? It was supposed to. Since women are running the damn world, sexism is just a figment of our imaginations now, right? So I think it should be funny by now.

Here’s my beef, ladies.. *immature snicker* Anyway.. Women have come very far. Now that isn’t to say that you’ve reached full equality with men. In reality, that may never happen.. Would you like to know why? Because that’s not what you ladies really want. The second a man and a woman have any equivalent job and make the exact same amount of money will be the second women can no longer hold men to our traditional gender role in a relationship. Though considering Sigmund Freud’s theory about women and penis envy, maybe I’m wrong.

Let’s be real, most of you ladies have already stepped out of or never intended to be in YOUR traditional role. Show of hands how many ladies feel it is their duty to watch the kids, do the dishes, handle the laundry, clean the house, cook dinner, and in general, do what the man says. Hmm.. one, two, ZERO! You remember those days.. Maybe not personally, but your grandmother could tell you some stories.

What are ladies doing today? Whatever the hell you want. Playing basketball, telling jokes, running businesses, fighting for their country, defending clients in court, cutting into patients, damn near running the United States. Of course that last one is an almost, but it’s only a matter of time, ladies.. You know you don’t get to do stuff until after the minority males get their shot.

Here’s where your greed comes into play. Women still expect to be courted. Women still expect to have babies. Women still expect a dominant sexual partner.. OK, I’m mostly joking, but dig this one.. Women still seem to want all the freedom to lead the household without actually taking on the responsibility of it. I believe there isn’t a single working woman who is willing to be the sole provider in her household. You know what I mean.. have your man be a house husband. I can already hear the OOOs like I just said a four letter word. That’s gonna be the new profanity for the 2010s. Shut the house husband up!!

From personal experience and basic observation, I have learned that if a man is not working and a woman is, resentment and lack of respect builds. Does the man deserve it? Well.. does a housewife deserve it? Most women would say no if I asked the second question first. A woman not seeing the big picture would sit here and try to undo all the progress women have made saying something along the lines of, “Well if she’s able to work, she should be workin’!” Nice try imaginary lady in my head, but I’m not buying it.

With great power comes great responsibility.. You saw Spider Man!! All of you lovely ladies are as much heroes now as us. You might look a lot better in your spandex than we do, but you’re still our equals now. Equality can’t come where you want it, but be shunned where you don’t. It’s not fair is it, ladies? That’s what comes with the territory. Welcome to the world formally known as “A man’s world but nothing without a woman”. Now it’s simply “A man’s and a woman’s world in perfect equality and harmony” or “Our World” for short.

However.. As I said in the beginning. I don’t think you ladies will let it come to that. A lot of y’all be on that independent woman sh*t, but you would LOVE for a man to truly treat you like a lady.. at least from time to time. I can’t be mad at that. I’m old fashioned myself. So, ladies…. here’s a rose:

~~~,~~‘~~,~~<@

Now go make me a sandwich..